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Bondage lifestyle

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Beautiful slave with metal clamps on her pussy lips is spanked on her ass bdsm. This allows you to have a blanket term for those who generally like being on either the giving or receiving end in a BDSM encounter.

And there's no rule that says you can't be both dominant and submissive in different circumstances or with different partners. Maybe the thought of being tied up excites you, or you enjoy spanking or being spanked.

Or maybe you're more interested in leather masks and nipple clamps and hot wax. All of that and obviously a lot more is within the realm of BDSM.

Basically, you can still be into kink without actually ever going to a dungeon. Using a blindfold or an ice cube or fuzzy handcuffs you got at a bachelorette party are all relatively harmless beginner behaviors if you're into them.

But before you play around with some of the trickier tools, you need to learn how to do so safely. Even a rope or a whip can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.

Hell, you can even mess up with your own hands think: fisting : "[Some people] think they can clench a fist and stick it inside somebody," says Brame.

If you're one of those people who throws away the directions and tries to build the bookshelf on intuition alone, BDSM is probably not for you. Please add them in the comments!

Classes, conferences, and meet-ups are also helpful for learning specific techniques, says Thorn. Another popular resource is FetLife.

One mistake many people make when first experimenting with BDSM is relying on one person to show them the way. Even if they do have your best interest at heart and they might not , it can be limiting to only have one perspective on something that is so multidimensional, says Thorn.

Instead, seek out books, workshops, meet-ups, mentors, friends, message boards, and more to find a safe place to explore your interests.

It might sound cheesy, but it's a well-established norm in BDSM. And hey, your safe word could actually be "cheesy" if you want.

You do you. For instance, not everyone uses safe words all the time after a while, but it's important to start out with them.

They can essentially be anything you want, as long as it's something that you wouldn't normally say during sex. You can find more info about safe words here.

This can be anything from ignoring safe words to using a whip incorrectly. Seriously, did we mention that safety is paramount here?

In fact, the acronym SSC safe, sane, consensual is one of the most common pillars of the practice. Getting swept up in the moment and accidentally stumbling into a millionaire's red room where you'll have multiple orgasms is probably not going to happen to you ever.

But, that's not necessarily a bad thing. It has to be the right place and right time and right equipment. And you have to know you can get the person out [of whatever bondage] if there's an emergency.

You have to feel you can trust the person. Whenever people question the role of consent in BDSM, they should consider the enormous amount of communication that occurs before, during, and after the scenes.

Think of this as the primer before the scene. This can involve anything from scripts and checklists to a more informal discussion of what each person's expectations are for the scene, what they want and don't want, and any words or actions that are completely off-limits.

Since BDSM can be an incredibly intense and emotional experience for some, most experts strongly suggest this wrap-up step, where the partners can discuss the scene and any reactions they had to it.

Not everyone who's interested in BDSM has multiple sexual or relationship partners. A lot of people just want to do it with their partner or play with the big toys at clubs.

This is not a one-size-fits-all kink. There are light floggers, leather whips, whips with single tails, whips with multiple tails that are flat and wide, the list goes on, says Thorn.

But because certain types can be harsher than others, you really need to learn how to use them properly again, workshops are crucial.

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